Looking back

Looking back in the month of July makes me see how time flies. Amy had gone on for 2 years already. Maybe it is just 2 mins in heaven. :) IZ will be entering primary one next year and how Kate had grown from a little princess who don't understand anything to someone who can hold a conversation.

Things have not change much except that I have been traveling much in Asia pacific. Just 8 months of work had seen me flew more than 15 trips. I have apologized to my dad for the rude things i have said one year ago. We all have been grieving from the head of the family down to the little ones. Jesus had been faithful and never abandon this household.

Yee Ma and Yee Chong had been concern about my love life. Asking me when i will start a new relationship? I replied when God provides.

It is so difficult to have a proper relationship, even though i lay my card on the table.

1) Single lady -> which single lady will want to date a widower who have not one but two children. She will lose her freedom, unless she really loves me. What happen if we do have our own love child? What will i do with IZ and Kate? How will they be emotionally?

Seems like this option is gone.

2) A widow -> She have a past. She have nice memory of her ex. Hard to give up on her past. She might have a child or two child of her own. Unlikely she will want me. Moreover how many young widows are there around, asking for opening in good Christian primary school also get turn down. So much for biblical teaching of love the widows for that is the true religion. Seems like this option is gone too.

3) Divorcees -> She might have a past, maybe also children, maybe got nice memory of ex but for certain reasons get divorce. Will her past come and haunt me? Stigma of divorcees are they are always problematic. Seems like this option is also gone.

Sometimes i wondered is it because of my own thinking and my own pride that prevent myself for moving forward but i think it will be difficult for the above 3 categories of people too if they allow people's opinion to affect them.

I think i will wait upon the Lord for whichever categories that He decides, maybe i will just have to able to be contented with being a single father for the rest of my life. :) But if it is the will of God then I shall accept it.

IZ and Kate, if you get a chance to read this, please do not blame God, Mummy or your life. This is papa life and i am not angry with God. :)