If you feel inadequate to come before Him

If one feel that sin has engulf one's life and the law had condemned you, read the whole of Hebrews 10.

If one feel that He does not love you, review John 3:16 and not forgetting verse 17 as well.

Ask Him for grace if inadequacy is still trying to get anyone down. For grace is a gift. Read Ephesians 2:8.

So if anyone is still wondering how to be righteous, we are already the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. 2 Corinthians 5:21

Reminder from God

I was reading the book of Galatians during my lunch break. Oh how beautiful are the content of the book when you know that you are children of promise.

I came to Gal. 4:28 where Paul was comparing between Hagar(Law) and Sarah(Grace). V.28 goes " Now you, brothers, like Isaac, are children of promise. I was reminded of God's grace, love and an answered prayer.

3 and a half years ago, on this day of 30 Jun 05, I waited for more than 15 hours of labour time with Amy before my son Isaac was born. Hearing precious baby cries from other delivery suites just made both Amy & I anxious. Finally Isaac came into this earth.

After all the pushing, Amy was exhausted. As for me, I waited for Isaac to cry when the Paediatrician did the check. But he did not cry. I went near him to look at him. His feet was bluish. The Paediatrician(PD) said that his heart beat was weak(I don't know what that means) and she need to send him to the Ante Natal Intensive Care ward. I am in the fix but decided to leave Amy in the safe hands of the nurses and go with the PD.

Isaac heartbeat was weak. I was walking in and out of the ICU to check on him and remembered saying this prayer to Abba.

Holding his tiny little hand I said : "Father, I do not know if I had given him the right name. But if you wish to test me as how you test you have tested Abraham then take him. But I know you did not make us(both Amy & myself) waited 9 months just to go through all these."

4 hours later, his heartbeat stabilised but his feet were still bluish. After 1 day he finally looked normal. Isaac stayed a total of 4 days in the ICU. The gynaecologist also mentioned that during the time of delivery, Isaac was in stress due to Amy's placenta.

My Abba had preserved the life of Isaac Tan, His Son.

For this post reminds me of his abundant grace.

Now you see it, Now you don't

Yesterday Amy went for her colonoscopy. CT scan last week, picked up that there was something in her left ascending colon. Having gone through one year of treatment, having heard the news do make me and Amy wonder if she is ever going to be healed.

Many brother and sisters in Christ from Haggai Institute,True way Presbyterian Church and New Creation Church were interceding for us.

I did have a scare at the hospital. I was told to wait outside of the theater and come back one hour later. But i did not go elsewhere just sitting away from the theater with my view blocked by the wall pillar. Amy went into the theater with another lady. I was outside praying and hoping and praying through the spirit for the best, leaving everything into the hands of God.
An hour had passed, i went to the entrance of the theater but Amy is not there. So i went back to my seat. Shortly after, a nurse can out and spoken to her colleague saying that the doctor cannot come out so soon as there is complication inside. There is only 2 patients and 1 doctor. I asked God in a sarcastic manner as if what could be anything worst. She is already having a condition and now with a new condition. But later i regreted it and went back to prayer, saying just as much as i do not wish the complication to happen to either lady, Amy is special because she is a child of God. And i prayed for the other lady as well.

Something prompted me to walk back to theater after 10 minutes later and lo and behold, Amy is out of the theater. The lady in there is the one that has complication and not Amy. To add to our confusion all the test results shows normal.

Praise and Glory to our God who heals.

Finally One good positive website for Colon Cancer

http://coloncancersupport.colonclub.com/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=4535&st=0&sk=t&sd=a

My reading in the book of Hebrew

It had been a while since i read the book of Hebrew again. . The summary according to the NIV bible shows that the letter is written to the Jewish Christians who wanted to turn back to Judaism. These are some of my thoughts when reading the whole book.

1) What is the "New" Covenant?
- The "New" is in Jesus Christ the atonement for sin & forgiveness. Who replaces the obsolete (Heb 8:13) covenant of sacrificing burned offering to atone for sin & forgiveness.

2) Is forgiveness from God once and for all since we are in the "New" Covenant?
- Interestingly, atonement of sin and forgiveness is only done once. Hebrew 10 talks about Christ's Sacrifice. " The law is only a shadow of the good things that are coming - not the realities themselves. For this reason it can never, be the same sacrifices repeated endlessly year after year, make perfect those who draw near t0 worship. If it(The Law) could, would they not have stopped being offered? For the worshipers would have been cleansed once for all , and would no longer have felt guilty for their sins.
BUT Christ said (Heb 10:17 " Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more."

3) Why are we remembering our sins and living like defeated Christians?
- I personally think that the act of asking for forgiveness every Sunday in church is affecting the mind.
- Thinking that if we don't pray for forgiveness, bad things will happen in our lives due to sin?
- 1 John 1:9. (Please read the whole passage properly. It is written to people who do not believe that Sin is real in the world.)
- Maybe we cannot come to term that forgiveness of God is so simple?

Before we go back to the way which Satan hopes we continue, Maybe we should go back to the fundamental of our faith. Look & think back about Jesus Christ our Lord the sacrificial lamb on the cross. How many times does Jesus have to die on the cross for me?

Amy's (Inaugural Post)

This is my inaugural posting. Amy, my dear wife was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer with metastasis to the liver and aorta last year. Today is her 1st year anniversary. During this whole year, the triune God has always been with us through every step of the way. I have been sharing to many friends about how we see God's love was showered upon us. I am prompted by the spirit to document it down for his glory and purpose. So here it is. :)

I will be listing out all the blessing in chronological order. It will be segmented to pre-diagnosis, operation and post operation.

Pre-diagnosis.

- Pre Pregnancy

9months before Kate was born, Amy wanted to change her job role. Amy wanted to use pregnancy as a reason so that she can take no pay leave to look after Kate after she is born. As most parents will say, it is not easy to get pregnant moreover at a planned period. Her office is indeed blessed that she had given up her position at the right time and work in her office can be carried on smoothly.

- Pregnancy

Before Amy was diagnosed, both of us were praying for our 2nd child. We wanted a girl. God gave us a girl, Kate. Praise unto God for giving us this cute beautiful princess to be steward off. She is born 1 month before Amy was diagnosed. Our ever gracious God had allowed our gynecologist not to detect anything suspicious during her 9months of pregnancy. If only if he had detected it, things could be even more complicated. Look at how beautiful Kate is to see grace.

- Insurance

The spirit of God worked in Amy's heart to sign up and attend a seminar with a company which sells financial planning services. It was held in her office. Both Amy & I met up with our financial planner and had our portfolio worked out. Thank God for letting me see how little we have in the bank and yet put us into greater debt by purchasing expensive insurance. Thank you Holy Spirit for your sense of humor. :)

Operation.

-Hospital & Doctor

Oh, what a tough decision. Which hospital? Who should be Amy's principle doctor? It is all answered. Her brother, my brother in law should be her principle doctor but he is major in Pediatric. But God bless us with his loving heart. Bless his heart! His classmate is the Oncologist and she became Amy's principle doctor. Amy's colorectal surgeon is a head of department and also a good friend and classmate of my mum's boss. Suddenly everything falls into place so beautifully.Even the doctor who did the scope for Amy her brother's friend. Everything work well for those who love HIM.

-Pre Operation

Results from the colonoscopy showed that Amy's tumor was about 12-15cm. The team of doctor's think that she needs to go for operation to remove her tumor. Many forms were signed during consultation, forms were also signed just before operation. A Chinese saying goes "Even simply by eating tofu can choke a person to death". Doctors cannot guarantee any complication during operation but God can. Thank God for his peace.

-Hospital Ward

Before the operation I wanted to give Amy the best room in the hotel (oops! Hospital) so that she can rest and recuperate faster but there is no single bed ward available according to the hospital staff. In true honesty, i grappled with $ during this period of time. The operation and hotel stay is not cheap and it affects future consultation and medical bill as well. It is the issue of Love vs Love of $. But Love succeeded. The hospital staff suggested that Amy stay in the 8 bedded ward and will shift her to the single bed room ward when available. Having said so, even the 4 bedded wards were unavailable. The spirit of God prompted us to call her brother to see if he can confirm for us if it is true. It seems destined that Amy will not be able to get a single bed ward. Lo and behold, Amy's brother called back and we have to check her into a two bedroom ward. It is the VIP suite. They will house her there until the single bed room is available but we will pay at the price of the single bed. All Glory and praise be to God and also a big thank you to Amy's brother.

-Operation

Praise be to God that there is no complication and Amy recovered well. Praise God also for the fact that the tumor is not as big as it was mentioned. Amy do not need the use of the stoma bag. Thank you Jesus!

-Insurance

The insurance which was mentioned during pre-diagnosis covers 90% of the operations and hospital stay. Our insurance agent mentioned that Amy's chemotherapy treatment cost will be fully covered as well. This verse came to mind - "And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever- the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans." John 14: 16-18 Thank you dear Holy Spirit! To top it all up, Isaac insurance policy will be fully paid by the insurance company until he is 2o something. Amy's future hospitalisation stay and treatment will also be covered.

-Still on Insurance

I love the Holy Spirit. Both Amy & myself do not worry about death. But we worry about our role as stewards. We are bless with 2 lovely children. We started worrying about their future. One is only 2 year plus and the other is only 1 month plus then. This was before Amy went for operation. We prayed about preparing for our will. Ya, at the age of 30. So we decided to seek legal advice from a dear brother of mine who is also an ex colleague of mine. He was instrumental is pointing out to us that insurance company will only honor the payout after 90 days of confirmation of the policy. Any diagnosis before 90 days will be considered void. (I can claim no $). Amy was diagnosed probably a few days after the 90 days period. Thank you dear Spirit again.

Post Operation

After her operation, a month of rest was needed before Amy can start her chemotherapy treatment.

-Family

Thank God for good family ties. We are grateful to God for our immediate and external family members who showered us with love, concerns & prayers. For our parents' sacrificial acts of love which shows us how much more our heavenly Father, cares & love us. Thank God for siblings who every readily help us with our 2 lovely children. For uncles & aunties prayer and even offer of financial help. Thank you all!


-New Home

Thank God for the new home. We waited for almost 3 years after our marriage to see our new home. God had blessed us with good location and thus far the valuation of this property had appreciated by almost 70% from cost. During this period of time, God had blessed us with a good contractor and he oversees most of the renovation for my flat and even rushed out the renovation to the time we wanted it to be done. Praise The Lord!

-Brothers & Sisters of Haggai Institute, brothers & sisters in Christ whom we know.

Thank God for prayer warriors. During this period. Many brothers and sisters in the office and also associates of HI prayed for Amy & I and are still praying for us all over the world. I thank God for this ministry and also the people in the ministry. Let me not forget about the rest of brothers and sisters in Christ whom we also know in church. I am sorry that there are just too many of you to have all your names written out. I am sure the names are all written in the book of life which is more important. May God Bless all of you.

-Clinical Trial

Praise be to God that both Amy & I did not become a financial burden to our family members. Amy started her first course of treatment under clinical trial. It cost about S$12,000 a month, but it was all paid for by the pharmaceutical company. Clinical trial is not always available. It is God's timing.

-Physical Rest for Amy

Amy is able to rest in the afternoon as Isaac goes to preschool for about 6 hours everyday.

-Amy's Job

Thank God that Amy is able to keep her work by working part time from home with half her salary. Thank God for understanding supervisors and friends who had helped us in different ways. God bless their hearts.

- Aorta spread

Praise be to God that the Aorta cancer spread had disappear. Left with the Liver spots

- Sorrow & Love

Throughout this one year, I believe this is the greatest blessings, sorrow. The many times i cried and pray during my drive to and back from work reminded me of my dependence on God. I had experienced the comfort of the Holy Spirit and the heart beat of my heavenly Father. Which is compassion and love.

Corinthians 1:3-5. “Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; who comforts us in all our tribulation that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. For the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds by Christ.”

Indeed the verse above is a confirmation to both Amy & I. May those of you who are seeking comfort be comforted and blessed. God is in control. In Jesus name. Amen.