Cast all your anxiety upon Him for He care for you. 1 Peter 5:7. Yesterday I was in church and pastor was sharing about how he misses his wife. So he called her on her mobile and said "Erm, I just want to hear your voice." He went on to say that substance is more important. What is the point in kissing the photo when you have the real person. My pastor also added that it is because where her heart is your heart will be as well. I think is because of love. He went on to preach about Ephesian 5:25-33. The famous passage for Husband and wife. Husband love your wife as how christ loves the church. Wife respect your husband. I did try to memorise this verse last time as it is very dear to my heart. Wanting to be a good man, so from friendship to courtship to being husband and wife, i hold the verse in great importance. I was sad and troubled yesterday because i did the same thing to Amy last time, by calling her on the mobile to surprise her. And since pastor said that where her heart is so will be my heart. I asked if my heart is in heaven now? As i mentioned in my previous blog that I come to know a special friend and how God brought us together. The individual times when we spent together often filled with surprises from above, fireworks in the sky, sky full of stars, aeroplane leaving a cloud trail through the air, it is really like God is encouraging us to be together, but there is always this torn in the flesh. Sometimes i wondered if the torn in the flesh is really a torn or is it just a lack of faith and not casting our cares upon Him. I have a beautiful relationship that ends with death. She had a unfaithful relationship which is tormanting her. I often pray and ask God, why people who love sincerely always get hurt. I get hurt, she gets hurt. I can only guess that my vision last Sunday is right. To the left is love, to the right is the flesh and in the center is the cross. Christ should be in the center for all relationship. I kneeled down and pray today to entrust everything, family, relationship, career, finance, health upon Him for his yoke is light. I know that my daddy God cares. He will see me through, he will give me strength to carry on, all i need is to rest on the eagle wings.
The male eagle who used to dance in mid air with his lovely female eagle shall dance again, since he lost her. He shall dance with another eagle or not at all. But what is most important is the under air current which lift both eagles up and that is the "Ruach"(Hebrew) the Spirit of the Living God. Whether he flys alone or as a couple for the Lord of the Heaven and the earth shall always be his strength.
Blessed be the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen
Monday, February 28, 2011
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Relationship
I had a good chat with a sister who was a ex colleague on chat. She was just sharing about how people take relationship so lightly. She recently just ended her own relationship. She was sharing to me about her friend who got involved in someone elses family. Her friend became a boyfriend to a married women who has a 10 year old daughter. He is not the only boyfriend to this woman, apparently she has about this promicious lifestyle eventhough she has a loving husband who keeps forgiving her. A friend of mine has a unfaithful husband but she is a good lady which is the exact opposite. I spoke to this sister and find that it is so ironic. Wrong person with wrong partner. I come to think about my own relationship with Amy.
During courtship, it seems to be like a one sided affair with me doing alot of things to please her but always getting hurt. She is the smarter one, she spend her time studying. I spend my time dreaming,thinking of how to make her happy so that by doing them, she will be appreciate and accept me. But it did not happen. In fact it affected my whole life. My school work, my life revolve around her. As i grow older, i starts to wonder if it is all worthwhile. You must be wondering how long is this courtship and relationship lasted.
10 years of friendship, 7 years of courtship and 5 years of marriage. At least it landed up in marriage. Thank God, this love is not wasted. I am not saying that one sided love affair is no good but it can be painful, stressful and even miserable. One missed smses or period of silence means she don't love me. She got other guys..... , i am second priority. (Thank God all these only happen during the 10 years of my friendship and a couple of years during courtship.) After that she loves me with all her heart. Through it all, i know God's purpose for me, which is to walk with her through her struggles and her battle with cancer. To be faithful and committed to her through good times and bad. Not all relationship will end well like until death do us part.
This is something that i learn. Someone once told me, if a women loves a man, she will do anything for him, no matter how bad he is, she will stick by him, even to the extend of getting abuse. It is not all without truth, often times we read in newspaper too. But if the women does not love the man, no matter what he does, even if he dies for her, she will take it lightly. So for Kate, if someone loves you silly, please appreciate him. But if you don't like him, please let him know early and don't waste the poor boy's time, effort and love.
May God showers his grace as i continue to pray for you (Isaac) and you (Kate) for your spouses in future to be like your crazy father who loves your mother deeply and vice virsa. Do also understand that is a priviledge to be loved by someone and not take the person for granted. :)
During courtship, it seems to be like a one sided affair with me doing alot of things to please her but always getting hurt. She is the smarter one, she spend her time studying. I spend my time dreaming,thinking of how to make her happy so that by doing them, she will be appreciate and accept me. But it did not happen. In fact it affected my whole life. My school work, my life revolve around her. As i grow older, i starts to wonder if it is all worthwhile. You must be wondering how long is this courtship and relationship lasted.
10 years of friendship, 7 years of courtship and 5 years of marriage. At least it landed up in marriage. Thank God, this love is not wasted. I am not saying that one sided love affair is no good but it can be painful, stressful and even miserable. One missed smses or period of silence means she don't love me. She got other guys..... , i am second priority. (Thank God all these only happen during the 10 years of my friendship and a couple of years during courtship.) After that she loves me with all her heart. Through it all, i know God's purpose for me, which is to walk with her through her struggles and her battle with cancer. To be faithful and committed to her through good times and bad. Not all relationship will end well like until death do us part.
This is something that i learn. Someone once told me, if a women loves a man, she will do anything for him, no matter how bad he is, she will stick by him, even to the extend of getting abuse. It is not all without truth, often times we read in newspaper too. But if the women does not love the man, no matter what he does, even if he dies for her, she will take it lightly. So for Kate, if someone loves you silly, please appreciate him. But if you don't like him, please let him know early and don't waste the poor boy's time, effort and love.
I guess i should remember the above if i do start a new relationship. Not to be the one keep sacrificing and in the end, in the words of the song from Linkin Park, it doesn't really matters to the person.
May God showers his grace as i continue to pray for you (Isaac) and you (Kate) for your spouses in future to be like your crazy father who loves your mother deeply and vice virsa. Do also understand that is a priviledge to be loved by someone and not take the person for granted. :)
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Kate
I grew up learning and understanding marriage was a commitment between both a man and a woman. For God created a helper for Adam. Storybooks talks about a prince charming came and rescue a princess and they live happily ever after. Even Shrek gets Fiona. But things are not always happily ever after. Having been commited to a girl most part of my life, growing up with her, courted her, married her and started a family and seeing her die in my arms seems like being in a dream to a nightmare. Having my two young kids with me has prevented me from wanting to start a new relationship as reality speaks for itself. Many well meaning friends encourage me to do it. This issue has been always in my mind even before Amy passed on, as I do not want to live my life all alone. Nevertheless, it was a life of singlehood i chose. For a man, there are alot of struggle, even more struggle with Christianity as a faith. The fear of looking and then lusting at other woman who might be some other people's wife. Pastor says that is adultery. The fear of rejection, who wants a man who comes with a package. There are many more fears. So for easy way out singlehood is my choice. Prayer to ask God to take away sexual desire helps and he did it. The mind does not lust. Seems like i lost my mojo. Hahahahah.
Kate, my lovely daughter and as described by someone as a girl that break many guys hearts. Just as how she broke my heart so often time, rejecting me as a father and rather look for her grandfather. All because, i had to look after her mum when the most important time of her life had been given to the care of the grandfather. Nevertheless, i still love her so. About a months ago, while she was playing in a restuarant, another girl asked her where her mummy was. She was struckdumb. I was struckdumb and i am hit by a question on my choice of singlehood.
The usual respond for me is always to pray when i do not know what to do. That night i kneeled and i pray, i cried and ask God to help. Somehow, God's healing will come, often time we want it to be instantanous. But having grown maturely quite a bit, i take it slow.
I attended a colleague's wedding even though i only knew him for a week, he invited me. I was in my own shell ever since i left my old church to the present church. But the wedding reception was good. It reminded me of my own but i chose not to remember as my helper is gone. I came to know a sister and also a fellow colleague that came and sit besides me during the reception.
I knew she is a sister because she cups her hand and says grace before meal. I hardly even do it. What a lousy christian i am. :) We just happen to talk about beaches and i shared about diving.
She asked me about prestine beaches but i cannot show her pictures to explain. But i am glad to have a pretty and cheerful lady sit besides me. (No other thoughts)
My struggle is finding a mother for my little girl and apparently it still is. I cannot bring her to a ladies toliet without my mum's help, so bringing them out alone is really a big challenge. People mistake my young looking mother as her mother. I face stares by people looking at me buying children clothings worst when i buy for my own daughter. People stare at me when i am alone with my two kids. I guess because i am a man as much i wish to be a good father and mother to my kids or is it that man are just useless that is why we need a women and a helper.
Praise be to God for the past few days, where some prestine beaches picture brought a encourager, a friend and hopefully a confidente into my life. It brought about an interesting end to the year of 2010. It is a struggle for her as well as she has her own challenges but as least we are in similar situation and can understand, pray and lookout for each other. Thus it brought about a more interesting start to the year of 2011.
Kate, my lovely daughter and as described by someone as a girl that break many guys hearts. Just as how she broke my heart so often time, rejecting me as a father and rather look for her grandfather. All because, i had to look after her mum when the most important time of her life had been given to the care of the grandfather. Nevertheless, i still love her so. About a months ago, while she was playing in a restuarant, another girl asked her where her mummy was. She was struckdumb. I was struckdumb and i am hit by a question on my choice of singlehood.
The usual respond for me is always to pray when i do not know what to do. That night i kneeled and i pray, i cried and ask God to help. Somehow, God's healing will come, often time we want it to be instantanous. But having grown maturely quite a bit, i take it slow.
I attended a colleague's wedding even though i only knew him for a week, he invited me. I was in my own shell ever since i left my old church to the present church. But the wedding reception was good. It reminded me of my own but i chose not to remember as my helper is gone. I came to know a sister and also a fellow colleague that came and sit besides me during the reception.
I knew she is a sister because she cups her hand and says grace before meal. I hardly even do it. What a lousy christian i am. :) We just happen to talk about beaches and i shared about diving.
She asked me about prestine beaches but i cannot show her pictures to explain. But i am glad to have a pretty and cheerful lady sit besides me. (No other thoughts)
My struggle is finding a mother for my little girl and apparently it still is. I cannot bring her to a ladies toliet without my mum's help, so bringing them out alone is really a big challenge. People mistake my young looking mother as her mother. I face stares by people looking at me buying children clothings worst when i buy for my own daughter. People stare at me when i am alone with my two kids. I guess because i am a man as much i wish to be a good father and mother to my kids or is it that man are just useless that is why we need a women and a helper.
Praise be to God for the past few days, where some prestine beaches picture brought a encourager, a friend and hopefully a confidente into my life. It brought about an interesting end to the year of 2010. It is a struggle for her as well as she has her own challenges but as least we are in similar situation and can understand, pray and lookout for each other. Thus it brought about a more interesting start to the year of 2011.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
War
Ephesian 6:10-12. We are not fighting flesh and blood(People) but against the principalities, against powers,against the rulers of the darkness of this age,against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places(Fallen angels). In real life battles are to show us that there are casulties of war. War ends either with a stalemate, a lost or a win. The interesting fact about Christianity is that we fight from victory but not for victory. Jesus had done it all. We just fight. Casulties of war includes terminal illness, accidents, terrorism, violents, rape, killings etc but it is where the soul is going that often times people missed the point. Jesus came for the soul, i am not against miracle healing for healing comes from the Lord. For ministers who are called to do it is to show that Jesus is truly the same, yesterday, today, forever. He loves us and wants to help us. To save the soul and not see it perish in hell. As long as one truly believes in Jesus Christ, satan cannot do anything to the soul for it is going to be with the Lord. Qs. What did the Lord says to the thief that is beside him when he was hung on the cross?
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Beautiful God
I was just listening to my pastor's message on my iPhone and opening up my bible to review some of the verses he shared. During which i was thinking through my growth as a child of God. Sometimes it seems the Holy Spirit will hide beautiful truth and uses preachers to open your eyes. But even if we have the best preachers in the world, if one refuses to open your heart to God, it will be of no use.
The passage shared was a common passage on the parable of the prodigal son. The text might seems simple to interpret about God's graciousness and his ever forgiving heart. It is something i grow up knowing. But praise be to God for my pastor expounding of the passage that i see a different God. There are more blessings then just forgiveness, grace and love.
My pastor brought to my attention on Luke 15:30-32 ; there was self-righteousness, anger, or rather sinful manner of the other son, spiritual blindness and also evangelism. Why do i say so? The son mentioned in v.30 in a very sarcastic self righteous way to his father. This verse itself can be interpreted spiritually as a old christian in church serving and doing, thinking that he has done a lot for the lord but did not get any blessing in return, as compared to a non christian which is his brother. V31, the son is spiritually blind. What did the father say? You are always with me and ALL that I have is yours. V32. The self righteous son forgets about the Joy of the father which is to see the lost coming back to him. (Evangelism)
How often we are so self occupied with SELF, with family, with church. And when something happen we complain just like the elder brother. Self righteousness creeps in, judgemental attitude creeps in, and just one v30. shows the true character of a "good son" who is actually so hypocritical.
May those who have eyes see and ears hear. There is a reason why Jesus told Martha those words. In summary, serving the Lord is good and it must come out from the heart, from love and not wanting anything in return. Lest we behave like the elder brother.
The passage shared was a common passage on the parable of the prodigal son. The text might seems simple to interpret about God's graciousness and his ever forgiving heart. It is something i grow up knowing. But praise be to God for my pastor expounding of the passage that i see a different God. There are more blessings then just forgiveness, grace and love.
My pastor brought to my attention on Luke 15:30-32 ; there was self-righteousness, anger, or rather sinful manner of the other son, spiritual blindness and also evangelism. Why do i say so? The son mentioned in v.30 in a very sarcastic self righteous way to his father. This verse itself can be interpreted spiritually as a old christian in church serving and doing, thinking that he has done a lot for the lord but did not get any blessing in return, as compared to a non christian which is his brother. V31, the son is spiritually blind. What did the father say? You are always with me and ALL that I have is yours. V32. The self righteous son forgets about the Joy of the father which is to see the lost coming back to him. (Evangelism)
How often we are so self occupied with SELF, with family, with church. And when something happen we complain just like the elder brother. Self righteousness creeps in, judgemental attitude creeps in, and just one v30. shows the true character of a "good son" who is actually so hypocritical.
May those who have eyes see and ears hear. There is a reason why Jesus told Martha those words. In summary, serving the Lord is good and it must come out from the heart, from love and not wanting anything in return. Lest we behave like the elder brother.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Purpose in Life
What is the purpose in life? Why are we created? Why am I striving so hard in life? Why am I studying so hard? Why should I serve?
The fundamental and answer is in Colossians 1:16. If one can focus back to Jesus, the above questions will be answered. Often time is the self that is causing the problem. We serve and get burn out thinking that God need us and without us ministries and work cannot move. We study with our own strength and if we do well we think that God helps those who help themselves but if we don't do well, what is my prayer not answered? Are we created to study hard, find a good job, earn $ and bring respect to the family? Bringing glory to parents? So that parents will not waste their $ on upbringing? My answer for my own children will be NO. They have to be studying for Jesus first and for themselves second. Why themselves? They will have the abundant Life that John mentioned in John 10:10.
My pride and glory is not as important as my Lord Jesus's glory. If my children (IZ and Kate) can do well in their studies fine, may all glory be to God but if not, so be it. God will lead and guild them in their life. My main purpose by the Holy Spirit is to guild them to focus on the Lord Jesus. Because he don't care if they gets all straight As but he cares for them like the sparrows in the field.
Learn from history. The history of King Solomon, the king who ask for wisdom. When he wrote the book of Ecclesiastes that is when he gets everything in life but that is also when he is without God. When God is with him, he wrote Songs of Songs. That is why he HATED life. (Ecclesiastes 2:17...)
Look to the Lord Jesus Christ and all things will made right in its own place.
The fundamental and answer is in Colossians 1:16. If one can focus back to Jesus, the above questions will be answered. Often time is the self that is causing the problem. We serve and get burn out thinking that God need us and without us ministries and work cannot move. We study with our own strength and if we do well we think that God helps those who help themselves but if we don't do well, what is my prayer not answered? Are we created to study hard, find a good job, earn $ and bring respect to the family? Bringing glory to parents? So that parents will not waste their $ on upbringing? My answer for my own children will be NO. They have to be studying for Jesus first and for themselves second. Why themselves? They will have the abundant Life that John mentioned in John 10:10.
My pride and glory is not as important as my Lord Jesus's glory. If my children (IZ and Kate) can do well in their studies fine, may all glory be to God but if not, so be it. God will lead and guild them in their life. My main purpose by the Holy Spirit is to guild them to focus on the Lord Jesus. Because he don't care if they gets all straight As but he cares for them like the sparrows in the field.
Learn from history. The history of King Solomon, the king who ask for wisdom. When he wrote the book of Ecclesiastes that is when he gets everything in life but that is also when he is without God. When God is with him, he wrote Songs of Songs. That is why he HATED life. (Ecclesiastes 2:17...)
Look to the Lord Jesus Christ and all things will made right in its own place.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Walking in the Spirit vs Walking in the Flesh
I am sure everyone who loves the Lord wants to do things to please the Lord. I am no difference. Imagine how the word of the Lord can be such a bondage to me as Satan keeps me focusing on Gal. 5:19-21. Preachers along the way justifying their messages to keep the brethren in the faith does not help either. The end of verse 21 where is says for those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
Does it mean that when even the simplest of sin like envy will not even allow us to get into heaven. I used to think i need to tell myself not to fall in any of the categories so that I can live a righteous and God fearing life. Or rather is this truly what the scripture is telling us. Contextually, it is about walking life with the spirit guidance and not the fulfilling the desire of the flesh. Gal 5:16 states it very clearly.
Gal 5:13 addresses that we do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh. Do bear in mind that that if truly we continue walking in the flesh, our Lord Jesus Christ death will be of no use.
Therefore walk in the Spirit and let v.22-24 be the results of righteous living. Amen
Does it mean that when even the simplest of sin like envy will not even allow us to get into heaven. I used to think i need to tell myself not to fall in any of the categories so that I can live a righteous and God fearing life. Or rather is this truly what the scripture is telling us. Contextually, it is about walking life with the spirit guidance and not the fulfilling the desire of the flesh. Gal 5:16 states it very clearly.
Gal 5:13 addresses that we do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh. Do bear in mind that that if truly we continue walking in the flesh, our Lord Jesus Christ death will be of no use.
Therefore walk in the Spirit and let v.22-24 be the results of righteous living. Amen
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